I tell people often that everything will work out. Seldom do they believe me. I tell them to follow their heart… seldom do they believe me. I went through my teens, I know how difficult it can be to drop the mental drive that comes with adolesence and regain the young innocence that everyone posses in their younger years (before knowledge sets in). I’m still growing up, but remembering that wild passion, that emence pleasure that can come from just following your deepest desire took a long time, and still seems difficult at times. Two people, in the last 2 days, have made the first step toward this… two people I’d like to call friends. While I know one in the flesh, the other remains a faceless man on the otherside of his livejournal. It started as a gift to her… a peek into the man she wanted to know… then I saw something in him that made my heart skip. Both of them, oh, both of them… so alike, so similar. She would never admit it, or see it for herself… not now. His words struck the same cord in me that she did when I first started speaking at length with her. I remembered part of my youth… the part of my youth that made me fall for the woman I am with right now. I don’t know why… maybe it was their ignorance toward themselves. Maybe it was their ignorance toward eachother… maybe it was just seeing their eyes open to the world around them and feeling them realize the beauty that exists all around. I’m not sure… but since then, my heart is full of wonder, I feel alive. It’s a marvelous thing.
She, as I’ve said to many, reminds me very much of myself… and now he does too. It could be bias… it could be that I let my emotional attachment to her cloud my judgement of him… I really don’t know. It makes me, in some strange way, want to be just close enough to the both of them to hear them speak, to see them talk… to feel the emotions running through the air and through them. Oh, to be alive. I’m older than my years… I’ve been told this before, but seldom have I felt it more than recently. Both of them are more around 5 years younger than me… ONLY 5 years, yet she shows amazing ability, and he is so wise… so open. *deep sigh*
give me a life, and I shall live it the best I can… I know those words… I spoke those words… years ago. I’ve known them since… but not since those years ago have i felt them run so deep through me.
Thank you, both of you, for in some special way, showing me who I am again…
Ryan that last bit of your post was beautiful and sweet! Your blog is showing a side of you that we friends hardly get to see.