Stranger things have happened. I now play a dangerous game… the random man sitting at the bar who does not leave when he sees a fight brewing between two drunk men at opposing sides of the bar. The bartender already ducked out, as did most of the crowd… but I remain seated sipping on a drink… knowing full well what is transpiring, but choosing not only to disobey the rules, but to defy them completely. I could end up being hurt, or I could end up hurting those who now want to fight bitterly… at this point, I’m almost in it just for the interest in what will transpire.

Time in, time out… go.

Well, I think I’ll start then, with my idea of love. I say my idea because no one things of love as the same thing. Some think that there is a different love for your cat, and your mom, and your girlfriend or boyfriend. I think they’re the same. I think it’s the actions and ideas you put behind that love that changes the way you express it. I love my mother, but I wouldn’t say, make love to her. I love my friends, but for the most part, I would not kiss them, nor would do many things that I do with, say, my Girlfriend. The same goes with say, my cat, or a dog, or just a random stranger. That said, the difference between friend and partner narrows in some respects, and widens in others. The fact there is love preexistent before someone becomes a partner means the trust is there in many ways…

To trust someone with love is to trust someone nearly explicitly…

So what is a partner?
Perhaps it’s that little extra bit. The idea that no matter what they asked you, you would at least consider doing it, or telling them anything they asked. More often than not, you’d do anything in your power to make that person happy. To place them at an equal with yourself (I’m still not sure if you can place someone above yourself). To feel empty when they’re not with you, and to feel full when they are around their strengths help your weaknesses, and your strengths do the same to them. Together you become something better than individually that can be said for friends too.
Of course, part of it is the physical layer of a relationship, but that isn’t universal. Many people are very physical with their friends… equally to in some cases the level they are with their partners.
It’s iffy… in a big way, a partner is just a friend that you choose to be with day in and day out, and let them be with you day in and day out, and learn you as you know yourself (and in some ways, better)

I, mayhaps wrongly, always have considered myself someone that gives themself to someone to act as a sounding board, personal theapist, or just a good friend. I think I still believe that, but it’s always painful when a friend is having problems and I have been around to see the beginnings of what could have been great, but fell into the red.

I gave a friend some advice toward a relationship, this without knowing the other person involved. Didn’t work out the way I thought/hoped it would, at least, not yet. I honestly don’t know if it will change… I hope though, that they can still remain friends, and build upon their friendship. Looking back at it, it might be a good thing since he is moving away, but I don’t think that makes it any easier for her to accept.

I dealt with something very similar in HS… only I never took the initiative to start anything beyond friendship, and everytime I got the balls to, it was too late. *shrugs* probably a good thing… we stayed pretty good friends for a while, and I’m not sure if she would have stayed a friend if I had tried to progress down that dangerous road. I told her about it years later, and it turns out it probably was definately the right thing to do. Unfortunate, but it was probably one of the last conversations I had with her. 🙁 Not sure, but I don’t think the last conversation you want to have with a friend is the one where you confess you had a multi-year long crush on them. I could be wrong though.

This isn’t to say I’ll stop trying to help people through their problems, or continue acting as a sounding board…. infact, this is something I’m doing to get my thoughts in order. I let down a friend by giving shoddy advice (without knowing the whole situation, al la knowing the other person). I went with what I had and could get… I should have done more research or kept my mouth shut… but when I see a way to help a friend gain some happiness in their life… I become a little blind to certain aspects of logic and reason. Something to work on I suppose.

Thanks for staying a friend, and that goes for all of you who I might (have) led astray once or twice (or many more times, depending on who you are). This isn’t to use as an excuse, but everyone must struggle with their humanity, and sometimes that means missing the mark and therefore making a mistake that hurts more than oneself. I do this… we all do this. Let’s just make sure it doesn’t get between friends and/or family.

I think that’s it for now…

-Staze

http://www.thesurrealist.co.uk/slang.cgi?ref=staze