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You are here: Home / Archive / home, and yet… not.

home, and yet… not.

2003/06/14 By staze

The drive from eugene to portland is an easy one, but doing it alone always creates an enviroment for me to think about life and those who play key roles in my life currently. Thoughts drift from person to person, event to event… and I always find a sense of disquiet in myself for not doing more to see those who mean the most to me. Sure, it’s not completely my fault if those I wish to see are busy with their lives, but does that mean I can get away with only doing a half-fast job of trying to see them? Or no job at all? *sighs* life upsets me at times, and at other times it brings me great happiness. All the time, when I sit and think about it, it brings a smile to my face to know that I am gifted with such wonderful people to live this life with.

Always in the darkness
I travel.
I can see the stars
Before me, behind me;
Distant lights always on the horizon.
My path keeps me honest,
But my travel seems chaotic.
I stare at a distant speck of light,
My eyes become sore from the strain.
They leap at me, the stars,
the light is blinding… I squint to focus.
the heat warms my body,
my soul feels alive.
The darkness still envelopes me;
I feel alive.

Doesn’t seem right, but it is what came to me in the car driving up here. First poem I’ve written in years… not sure why it came to me now… probably has something to do with my last few posts.

I get to see my family tomorrow… I love seeing them. I don’t see most of them enough, and that makes me sad when I stop to think about it. These people are my flesh and blood… i love them dearly. Though, I can’t say I love them any more or less than friends. My family are my friends, they are my friends by birth, and by choice. My friends are friends by the gifts of chance. life is marvelous, no?

Well, folks, i’m home… yet I don’t see anywhere to hang my hat.

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