A friend yesternight told me that my last posts sounded very sad. I appologize for that, and if any of that sadness has seaped into the hearts of any of you, I am truly sorry.
sad adj. sad·der, sad·dest
1.Affected or characterized by sorrow or unhappiness.
2.Expressive of sorrow or unhappiness.
3.Causing sorrow or gloom; depressing: a sad movie; sad news.
4.Deplorable; sorry: a sad state of affairs; a sad excuse.
\Sad”ness\, n. 1. Heaviness; firmness. [Obs.]
2. Seriousness; gravity; discretion. [Obs.] Her sadness and her benignity. –Chaucer.
3. Quality of being sad, or unhappy; gloominess; sorrowfulness; dejection. Dim sadness did not spare That time celestial visages. –Milton.
Syn: Sorrow; heaviness; dejection. See Grief.
Hmmm… heaviness. I like that. I would not consider myself a sad person, or overburdened with any emotion. I know I’ve shown anger, passion, desire… but most of these things are skin deep. Masks to impress upon others my general “knee jerk” feeling at the time. That’s a good destinction that I suppose I’ll keep from now on: the difference between emotion and feeling. Sure, by definition an emotion is just that, an emotion, no depth implied. But I suppose at my definition would say there is depth. An emotion is from the soul, from the heart. Love is an emotion, Sadness is an emotion. I suppose any feeling can be an emotion, but I generally am upset by the results. A feeling is usually mind created. Driving in the car, I get angery at the driver ahead of me, or the one that drove by at 90MPH and nearly sideswiped me. Feelings. Live in a feeling or with a feeling long enough, it seaps into the soul. I know people who are, at their core, angry. I’ve known people who are, at their core, in a deep hole of dispair. Hmmm, dispair. I don’t know if that’s a feeling or not. It’s too powerful and descriptive word. Love isn’t a feeling… but Lust could be an emotion. Curious how that works. Perhaps that’s what the bible means by Sins… when these feelings become emotions. Sin to the self. Diminishment of the self, of the soul. Corruption in some ways.
Fear not (fear can be both I suppose, though it’s generally a feeling). I don’t think that corruption, or really anything else, is permenant. Everyone can be “saved” as the babtists call it. I’m not talking a vision of God (in the external sense) or the act of someone blessing you (though the notion behind it is valid, actions performed by someone seldom have the effect they were designed for: love, as far as I can see, must exist between participants for there to be any sharing of experience). Troubled souls, souls weighed down by emotions they do not believe escapable. Yet all the while, they scream to anyone that can hear them that they want to change, they just don’t have the power to take those first few steps. I feel sadness for those people. It’s a type of sadness that is bordered on/with love. I don’t know… and it’s always pretty obvious who those people are. Consumed by pain would be a good way of putting it too (pain, there’s a feeling/emotion).
Again, I’m sorry if sadness has crept into your heart from reading my blog… I did not mean to share my burdens with anyone so much as express my soul. I still love you all… and I wish I talked to some of you a little more than I do (and some a LOT more). Just thought I might clear that up incase anyone else was feeling down after reading my blog.
Have a great day… and talk to some of you sooner rather than later. 🙂